Sonnet VII - Hartley Coleridge

Is love a fancy, or a feeling? No.
It is immortal as immaculate Truth,
'Tis not a blossom shed as soon as youth,
Drops from the stem of life--for it will grow,
In barren regions, where no waters flow,
Nor rays of promise cheats the pensive gloom.
A darkling fire, faint hovering o'er a tomb,
That but itself and darkness nought doth show,
It is my love's being yet it cannot die,
Nor will it change, though all be changed beside;
Though fairest beauty be no longer fair,
Though vows be false, and faith itself deny,
Though sharp enjoyment be a suicide,
And hope a spectre in a ruin bare.

Happiness...

The eternal battle between Mars and Venus will remain just that: eternal. There is absolutely no way for one gender to win this proverbial war, if there was, well where’s the fun in life then? I believe that the reason for this tug of war lies in the very essence of how we are differently wired. Men and women are just different in the way they look at the world. It’s in the very nature of men to not let things affect them in the way that women just don’t understand. The seeming indifference may be a disguise for a lot of turbulence but they just have that knack for pushing it away, a trait which is both admirable and at the same time pitiable. For what is life without experiencing every kind of feeling that there is, even the most torturous of them? While women are often seen as the weaker sex simply because they choose not to hold their emotions in cheek, they are actually stronger for it. Men may scoff and say that it makes no sense to allow oneself to go through an emotional roller coaster, much better to be disconcerted about things that cannot be helped. I can't help thinking that in this way, though they may spare themselves the pain, they also rob themselves of the simple joys of life, the light at the end of a dark night is not for them. Having said this however, I have to admit that this world would indeed be a crazy place if men and women were all alike, the very fact that they are such opposites of each other helps maintain the fine balance, which also explain why we turn to each other to find solace and happiness. She feels for them both and he protects them both from the harsh world. He goes out to face the challenges and bring home the bread while she is content to be home and make it a paradise on earth. Alas, those days are gone and indeed nowadays the notion is almost primitive, but I can't help thinking that it was how it was meant to be, designed to be. But human beings being what they are, will never be content with the status quo, set about destroying this balance and hence we have arrived at a point where we have invaded each others' space and given birth to a battle which shall never reach an end. But at the end of the day, we aren't all that different from our primitive ancestors; we still turn to each other for comfort, be each others' shoulders to cry on, be the person we share our joys with, and in each other find happiness, the kind that makes all else seem insignificant (even if for a little while). Cheers!

There is always a battle of sorts between the head and the heart. Sometimes the heart tells us to go ahead and do exactly what we want to do but we are stopped by the logical head. Makes you wonder what the entire point is right? Well I think we all know that one without the other is pretty useless so a combination of the two (read: eternal battle) is what keeps us ticking. Its what stops the head from doing everything that makes complete sense and it stops the heart from doing everything that makes no sense and at the end of the day we end up doing just fine. It may feel like the battle is tearing us apart sometimes, but in the end it helps us do whats right. And even when we do make a mistake, it is with the realization that it is all a part of life. The good times and the bad times come and go but as long as you got the head and the heart in the right place, its all good :)

Neon...John Mayor

When sky blue gets dark enough
To see the colors of the city lights
A trail of ruby red and diamond white
Hits her like a sunrise

She comes and goes and comes and goes
Like no one can

Tonight she's out to lose herself
And find a high on Peachtree Street
From mixed drinks to techno beats it's always
Heavy into everything

She comes and goes and comes and goes
Like no one can
She comes and goes and no one knows
She's slipping through my hands

She's always buzzing just like
Neon, neon
Neon, neon
Who knows how long, how long, how long
She can go before she burns away

I can't be her angel now
You know it's not my place to hold her down
And it's hard for me to take a stand
When I would take her anyway I can

She comes and she goes
Like no one can
She comes and she goes
She's slipping through my hands

She's always buzzing just like
Neon, neon
Neon, neon
Who knows how long, how long, how long
She can go before she burns away, away.

She comes and she goes
Like no one can
She comes and she goes
She's slipping through my hands

She's always buzzing just like
Neon, neon
Neon, neon
Who knows how long, how long, how long
She can go before she burns away

Words...

Words are funny things, you can twist them up in so many million ways and yet they always mean something. Simple things sometimes can be made to sound so grand that you wouldn't even recognize them and equally, great things can sound so plain that you might miss them completely. Its almost an art to decipher these curious things called words. There are so many times you might miss their hidden meaning and go for the more obvious one and looking back you might wonder how it could have escaped you. I think that is where the beauty lies, in not knowing, never being completely sure of what exactly they mean. Its the mystery that keeps them alive or else wouldn't we have progressed to mind reading by now? The simple act of putting one's thoughts into one's words can take forever if you consider all the ways it could be done - should I say it as it is or dress it up so that it sounds better? should I hold something back or is it better to leave it all out there? should I be saying it out loud at all or is it best left inside my head? As funny as it may sound, we all do this every time a thought crosses our mind. It's just that the mind is too used to it and does not register it anymore but deep down in our subconscious, the wheels are always turning and the battle always raging. If the thought at hand it something close to our heart and needs a lot of deliberation, only then do we find ourselves consciously weighing the odds. So it may be all in a day's work for us but the words are here to stay long after we are gone.

PS # I don't think fiction is really my forte, so I'll stick to random vagueness

The Begining...

A hundred thousand words wanted to pour out of her lips. A mysterious smile flashed before her eyes. A turbulant life was coming to an end and yet strangely enough, in those final moments before losing consciousness, she wanted to cling on with all her might to the vestiges of a life that was at the same time beautiful and ugly; anguished and serene; stark and plentiful...
The surprise was so great that her eyes opened of their own accord and focussed on the ceiling fan whirring above her head vainly trying to dispel the oppresive summer heat. The sharpness of the picture brought back to her some sense of reality, a feeling she did not cherish in the least and she was immediately conscious of the hard flooring on which she lay and the pain that throbbed at her left wrist. She wondered how long she had lain in a stupor and realised with a shock that two hours had passed since she had stuggled with her conscience for the last time and had decided to slash her wrists in an attempt to rid herself the life she was caught in. But alas it had been two hours and yet she lay on the foor surrounded by a pool of her own blood, alive and conscious. Three things were very clear to her, one that she had failed and was secretly quite glad of the fact; two that she would never again attempt to do away with herself no matter what the circumstances (it had been very eerie, the feeling that had engulfed her when the implications of her act had dawned upon her) and three, she now had the task of cleaning up the mess she had made so that no one would ever find out. Sighing, she got up from the floor, ignoring the slight dizziness that came with it and tried to sort through the blurry images racing around in her head. In her unsteady state, she paused at the window, saw the first signs of dawn in the distant horizon and took in a deep breath of the fresh morning air and smiled. A new day had come and with it had come hope that things might not always be as bad as they seemed...

PS # My first attempt at fiction, please forgive the idiocy!

You Know You're in Bombay When....

...your already frizzy hair expands to twice it's usual size!
...you feel like taking a bath immediately after you've already had one
...when the food you thought you'd never see miraculously appears on the table (ok thats just for me coz I just got home :) )
...two hours is the reasonable time to get anywhere
...when in those two hours you never once ask how much longer and are extremely surprised when you actually reach your destination
...the roads you saw dug up the last time you were here are still dug up for reasons that are entirely different from the last time
...every shop has a Marathi sub-title
...you can pick up the phone and order anything from a dozen eggs to a bottle of sprite and it gets delivered in 10 minutes
...there are people on the streets more than ever before!

if you can think of anymore, please do add on!

Love this car!

Every end is a new begining...helps to remember that.

The Toss of a Coin

When in doubt, always toss a coin; if you're disappointed with the result, then you've already made your decision...

Very apt I believe. It so happens that we often dont know our own minds but deep down we've never been surer. In a situation like this, all we really need is that crucial reassurance. It need not only be the toss of a coin (it's just symbolic of the fact that there is more than one side to pick), it can be a friendly advice or parental guidance to realize what we really want. As long as the decision rests at the back of the mind, it may or may not manifest itself into action, but the moment we are confronted with reality, we know exactly what to do. Basic biology actually: Fight OR Flight to sum it up neatly. So the big question of the day remains: how do we actually determine if this gut feeling is right or wrong? I dont think there is any test in the world which can actually measure human intuition, but I also know that more often than not it is this feeling of conviction which turns out be the right one and saves us from many a trouble. Too cut a long story short, all I'm saying is that when in a situation of indecisiveness, fall back on the age old nagging feeling at the back of your head which tells you what needs to be done. For believe me, if you let things continue without any interference, there will come a time when you come face to face with reality and regret not having made that crucial decision which could have changed it all. And regret is something that we could all very well live without. On that note I think I shall end this post. Will be back with more nonsense soon. Cheers!

Sunday Mornings...

Though this post is titled 'Sunday Mornings', I will actually begin this cronicle from last night. A huge (and cheap!) dinner at a small but fabulous restuarant after a hard day's work is definitely the best thing that there is. I don't think I've ever seen a group of people enjoying themselves so much! The silence at the table was only punctuated by the calls for more naan or roti and business at the little place soared. Anyway, it was on the way back to the hostel after dinner that I realised how wonderful life actually is. I was thankful all over again for the amazing people that surround me, who will be there for me no matter what. The past few weeks (months actually), have been a very trying time for all of us. We have been through hell and back, but hearing the laughter and conversation flowing at the dinner table last night only went on to prove that we humans are made of sterner stuff as Shakespeare would say. Resilience is truly an admirable quality and the ability to bounce back after life has squashed you flat is something to be applauded. Anyway, getting back to the amazing sunday morning I've had so far. I woke up at the early (for me atleast!) hour of 9.30 am and tucked in to a full breakfast (again a rarity on a sunday!) and ever since then its been one lazy morning so far. I absolutely love these days. Everyone just going through the day at their own pace not really bothered by whats in store ahead. Its idyllic to say the least, and it's been so long since we've had such a good time on a Sunday, we just haven't had the time! Anyway, now I see that the lazy morning is slowly winding down and peole are heading for their baths and the loud conversations are fading so I think its time for me to wrap this up and get back to work as well. Till then, have an amazing day!

interesting thought - an act of love that fails is just as much a part of the divine life as an act of love that succeeds, for love is measured by fullness, not by reception...

Happy New Year...

When the time is right, things always fall into place. I believe in fate and destiny. Everything that happens, happens for a reason; we may not be able to see the reason straightaway but its out there somewhere. Its like an intricate puzzle and we are only one piece of it and have absolutely no idea how the other pieces will come together. So when life deals you a bad hand at poker, know that its not the only game you'll ever play. There will be others, many of them. All you need is some patience (actually a lot of it!) and faith enough to trust that your life holds great things in store for you; maybe not great in the eyes of the world but great in their own way. For it is true that we are all here for a reason - a reason so complex yet so simple that we miss it completely sometimes. The very core of existence of human beings on this planet is to LIVE! To live in every sense of the word, not just the biological aspect of it, but also to live our lives in a way that is completely fulfilling. Put your entire being into the work that you do , and equally learn to give yourself the time to unwind and all else will fall into place. The rest is upto fate to guide us to our destiny (we all have one!). So our part of the deal in this life we lead is to live it to the best we can and not question what will happen because of what we do or not do; because believe me, what has to happen cannot be stopped and what will never happen, will never happen...

PS # This may not seem like the usual Happy New Year message but I firmly intend live by the above philosophy this year. On that note Happy New Year =)